Ask a “Why?” question that is focused on what you do want (which is positive, beneficial, and helpful) instead of what you don’t want!

For example:

This is helpful: “Why is this so easy?”

This is not helpful: “Why can’t I do this?”

A better question here could be (focused on what you do want):

• “How could I make this easier?”
• “What would make this easier?”
• “Where could I improve in this?”
• “Who could help me with this?”

Only ask “Why?” questions in positive, beneficial, and helpful situations! Whenever you realize that something positive has changed or when you gain insight, ask a “Why?” question to reinforce, amplify, and thus make it concrete.

For example:

• “Why is this important?”
• “Why is this better?”
• “Why is this more fun?”
• “Why is this more beneficial?”
• “Why is this helpful?”

Other good “Why?” questions could be:

• “Why do I feel so good?” (in good events)
• “Why is this so funny?” (in funny events)
• “Why do I like this so much?” (in enjoyable events)
• “Why is it so easy now?” (in easy events)
• And so on, in positive and/or beneficial events.

In negative and detrimental situations, it is better not to ask “Why?” questions!

Your mind is obliged to try to answer every question. Even if it doesn’t know the answer, it will try to come up with something. For example, it might say:

“Probably because…”

or

“Maybe because…”

Even if it says “I don’t know,” that is also an answer.

Therefore, in negative and detrimental situations, it is really advisable not to ask “Why?” questions!

• A “Why?” question contains tense energy and creates limited, fixed structures.
• A “Why?” question seeks confirmation and assumes that the suggestion is already true.
• A “Why?” question not only seeks confirmation but also emphasizes, reinforces, and makes the assumption concrete. Or it creates resistance if you go against it.

That is why it is highly recommended to only ask “Why?” questions in positive and beneficial situations!

For example, with the question: “Why am I so stupid?” you assume that you are stupid and give your mind the task of finding reasons that prove that idea is correct.

If the answer is: “I am not stupid,” resistance is created because one thought says you are stupid and another says you are not. Then you can keep spinning in the mental labyrinth of thinking. This can, to put it mildly, be really exhausting!

Identity or behavior? The here and now or the past?

The question: “Why am I so stupid?” is also an identity statement. “I am“ is about your identity in the here and now.

So you did something in the past (even if it just happened), but you say it as if it is happening NOW! This is not correct! And you act as if it is your identity, while it is actually about your behavior.

What you could better ask here is: “What made me do stupid things in the past?”

Now it is about your behavior in the past. This is formulated more accurately and it is also true!

Therefore, it is better to use a “Why?” question especially in positive and beneficial situations and solution-oriented questions like “How? What? Where? When?” in negative and detrimental situations to get out of them.

If you accidentally ask a “Why?” question in negative and detrimental situations, you can always immediately afterwards ask yourself these three empowering questions (related to the situation).

The three empowering questions: “What? How? Why?“

• “WHAT have I learned from that?”
• “And now that I know this, HOW can I do it differently and better from now on?”
• “And now that I realize this, WHY is it important / better to do it this way now?” (Keep repeating this question for every positive answer.)

You can actually ask these three empowering questions in any situation in your daily life, regardless of whether it is beneficial or detrimental!

For example:

“Why can’t I have a good relationship?”

Immediately ask the question: “WHAT have I learned from that?” (from the relationships)

Answer: “I didn’t show my true self because I was too afraid of rejection.”

Then ask the question: “And now that I know this, HOW will I do it differently and better from now on?”

Answer: “I will work more on myself so that I can better handle rejection, and so that I can show more of my true self.”

Then ask the question: “WHY is it better to work on myself and show my true self?”

Answer: “Because I want to have a good relationship.”

Question: “WHY do I want to have a good relationship?”

Answer: “Because I want to connect more and better.”

Question: “WHY do I want to connect more and better?”

Answer: “Because I want to be happy.”

(And so on!)

–

Use super-simple conversational hypnosis

You can create a conversational hypnosis suggestion focused on what you do want, with all the wonderful insights you’ve gained during your questioning process. Example:

• “From now on I choose to ……”

• “From now on, I choose to show my real self because I want a good relationship, this way I can also connect better and become much happier.”

And then take action in line with this statement! Realize it!

You can also compare it to your original statement and realize how differently it FEELS!

Example:

(Focused on what you don’t want)

• “Why do I always fail to have a good relationship?”

has been changed to

(Focused on what you do want)

• “From now on, I choose to show my real self because I want a good relationship, this way I can also connect better and become much happier.”

Do you feel the difference? If so?

Take action in line with your new statement!

Turn a “Why?” question around

Focus on what you do want instead of what you don’t want. When you ask yourself, “Why am I so stupid?” you focus on what you don’t want. That’s why its helpful to ask yourself,

• “What’s the opposite of this?”
• or “What do I want?”

Then you can ask questions such as:

• “Why would I want to be ___?”
• “Why is it important to  ___?”

This way, you can easily turn the “Why?” question around so that it works in your favor.

Example:

Ask, “Why am I so stupid?”

Realizing that this is not what you want and therefore not helpful, you can ask yourself, “What do I want?”

Answer: “To be clever.” So you could ask, “Why am I so clever?”

Answer: “But I’m not clever.”

Ask, “Why would I want to be clever?” (by asking this question, you turn it around)

Answer: “Because then I can do things I want to do.”

Question: “Why do I want to do things I want?”

Answer: “Because it makes me happy.”

Question: “Why does it make me happy?”

Answer: “Because happiness is important to me.”

Question: “Why is happiness so important to me?”

Answer: “Because I want to feel good.”

Question: “Why do I want to feel good?”

Continue like this until there are no more answers.

You can then create a conversational hypnosis suggestion focused on what you do want, with all the beautiful insights you discovered during your questioning process.

Example:

• “From now on, I start taking the right actions so that I become increasingly more cleverer, because it is important to do the things I want, as this makes me feel good and it makes me even more happier.”

And then take action in line with this statement! Realize it!

***

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