The power and magic of forgiveness
What Is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is letting go of the past so that you can be happy in this future here and now.
Therefore, we can replace the word “forgiveness” with the words “letting go” and say: The power and magic of letting go.
Forgiveness is NOT approval or saying “We are friends now” Not at all!
Forgiveness is a simple choice between:
Happiness – Peace – Well-being – Harmony – Freedom in the Here and Now (forgive and therefore let go)
– or –
Pain – Unrest – Suffering – Conflict – Imprisonment in the past (not forgiving and therefore holding onto)
You forgive for yourself, not for the people who hurt or wronged you!
It’s about how good you feel, and how good you feel is what really matters, right?
In this here and now what do you prefer?
Happiness or pain?
Peace or restlessness?
Well-being or suffering?
Harmony or conflict?
Freedom in the here and now or imprisonment in the situations of the past?
Life is way too short to constantly carry heavy events from the past. When things are way too heavy let them go and free yourself from the past with the power and magic of forgiveness.
It is a simple choice to let go of the pain of the past so that you can be happy in this here and now. What do you choose?
After you have done this process of forgiveness well, you will no longer be bothered by the situation or trauma. Strangely enough it often becomes a powerful resource.
This is because the problem changes into important insights and concepts about yourself. Sometimes you even get multiple revelations.
My responsibility during this hypnotic forgiveness process is to guide you, protect and support you so that it becomes easy, simple, effective and fun for you and its my real pleasure to help you with that.
The past is imaginary
If you are bothered by situations from the past, it is good to realize that those situations are all imaginary because the past and the future are both imaginary. They don’t exist in the real physical world but they do exist in your imagination. This is a super valuable, powerful and important realization!
Because of course you cannot change the situations from the past. What happened then has already happened, what is done is done. But the real situation only happened once in the physical world and so the original situation is all long gone. So you are actually not bothered by the original situation.
What still bothers you is the imaginary “film” that is played on the screen in your imagination.
This is good to realize because it means that you can now view the imaginary film of the original situation from different perspectives, which ensures that you get a different perspective compared to then.
You can change the meanings associated with the situations because you are now older, wiser and stronger than then and also you have more life experience now.
And you can now also change the importance of the situations. For example, how important is it that you now hold on to these situations? What’s in it for you? Is it to your advantage to hold on to them?
So in this sense you can change the past because the past is imaginary and anything in your imagination can be influenced, altered and updated in the here and now.
How exactly do you do that? You can do that with a hypnotic process of forgiveness.
Where exactly do you do that? In your imagination of course because that is where all the situations of the past can be found.
You don’t even have to address the real physical people that were involved in the situation because you are bothered by the “imaginary people” in your imagination, not the physical people in the here and now. This is good to realize.
Just imagine if we could completely erase your memory consciously and subconsciously, you wouldn’t be bothered by the real physical person in the here and now at all. Because how could you possibly know that they ever hurt you if you had no memory of it? Memories happen in your imagination.
So it’s the imaginary people from the past that bother you. This is good news because it means that you never have to see people in the physical world to forgive them. This means that you can let go of any situation completely so that it will never be a problem for you again.
The scenes, the characters and the main character in the imaginary film of the past
When you think back to a certain situation from the past, there are several elements that we can distinguish.
The scene(s): There is the situation itself, where you were, what the occasion was, when it was and so on (the “scene” lets say)
The characters: There are the people who were there (the “characters” in the scenes)
The main character: There is your younger “me” or “self” (the “star” of the movie, the “main character” lets say)
So we can say: There is an imaginary movie, with certain scenes, characters and a main character “Me”
Everything is imaginary because the real situation that happened in the physical world then has long since ended. That original situation is long gone. What now remains is an imaginary “film” and this film is made from a series of representations that appear in your imagination as images, sounds and thoughts.
Just because it’s imaginary doesn’t mean it won’t bother you anymore. On the contrary, it could still really bother you. But because it is in your imagination, fortunately this can be changed, processed and therefore also released with the power and magic of forgiveness.
Are you now ready to let go of the past completely with forgiveness?
If you feel that you are not ready to forgive people so that you can let go of the past completely, it could probably be because of several things.
– you have not yet obtained all the insights from the particular situation that you need to continue. For example: Not yet found new ways to avoid the same kind of situation again. During the hypnotic forgiveness process you can discover these insights.
– you have not yet fully given all your younger personality parts associated with the particular situation the opportunity to express themselves honestly and fully. This is a very important part of the hypnotic process of forgiveness and when its not done thoroughly, it is often the reason why people cant heal completely from the past situation (more on this later in this explanation)
– you have not yet fully understood what forgiveness is and you think that if you forgive the person, you are approving of what they have done. Or that you think you should associate with the person now because you have forgiven them. This is not the case at all!
After you have forgiven someone, you empower yourself and so you can now determine in peace and calmness what kind of boundaries you want to set. This means, for example, that you can make contact with the person again and set clear boundaries, or you can break all contact with the person and never deal with them again.
It is up to you to determine this.
Partial forgiveness or Complete forgiveness?
Forgiveness on an intellectual level or forgiveness on a feeling level?
Superficial forgiveness or Deep forgiveness?
These are different ways of asking the same question.
Because it may also be that you think that you have already forgiven someone but that you still suffer from the situation. For example by being triggered every time you think about the situation.
This can happen when you have forgiven them only on a superficial (intellectual) level. This is partial forgiveness and is often insufficient to let go of the situation(s) completely.
What I mean by partial forgiveness is that you have pushed away some of your own feelings so that you can forgive the other person because you think “I must” out of a belief system or social pressure from family or friends for example.
This is a form of self-rejection and only causes more pain for you because self-rejection is the opposite of self-love (self-love in this case is unconditional love for your real feelings, unconditional love for how YOU really feel)
*Note* Your feelings don’t conform to any mental idea that you have about yourself. They are always true and honest from out of their perspective no matter what your intellect might think or say. Sometimes that will fit in with your mental identity and sometimes it wont. So for instance you may identify yourself as a “positive person” but you really feel “negative” about someone or something that happend in the past (eg anger, hatred, blame etc)
This can cause a subconscious blockage because you feel “negative” about the situation but mentally its “not allowed” to feel like that because it doesn’t fit in with your mental identity of being a positive person. This type of situation will keep you stuck in the past, but luckily it can be easily corrected with this kind of hypnotic forgiveness process if done thoroughly and properly.
It could also be that you have forgiven someone completely, but you now think that means that you have to deal with them out of some kind of social obligation or other reason. This is again an intellectual understanding and is incorrect.
When you have forgiven someone completely, you empower yourself fully. This means that YOU are now the one who determines how you now proceed with the person. If you do want to have contact, you can. If you don’t want to have contact, that’s fine too. You set your own boundaries. Everything is allowed. Nothing is compulsory. You decide.
When you have forgiven someone completely, you are the one who now determines how you deal with the person. This is actually the power and magic of forgiveness. That person and the past situation(s) lose all power over you.
You choose happiness, peace, well-being, harmony and freedom in the here and now instead of being trapped in the past with pain, suffering, conflict and unrest. You are not a victim. You are free in the here and now.
Ask ‘Self love’ (your heart)
To determine what is the best decision for you after you have forgiven someone, you can ask your heart or in other words, ask ‘Self love’
It does not matter what other people think of your decision because you have empowered yourself and you now make decisions from out of self love (in this case from out of self respect)
To do this simply, you can ask yourself this question and realize what answer immediately comes up. It will be a yes or no answer.
“If I were to ask self love now, should I keep in touch with (name of person) what would self love say?”
Realize what the answer is and do that!
The hypnotic process of forgiveness
Do this hypnotic forgiveness process yourself!
You can also do this hypnotic forgiveness process yourself if you want. There are many ways you could do this, below is how I usually do it with my clients.
I have created this page so that you can gain insights into how I do this and also with the sincere intention that you can learn and do this simple process yourself without any help from anyone. You can then do this for yourself independently or you can guide someone else.
But if your challenge is too intense or too great, you can always make an appointment with me and we will do it together.
This is how I usually approach a hypnotic process of forgiveness.
Step 1: Create a safe situation and place
Make sure you are in a safe situation so that you can focus your full attention on this hypnotic forgiveness process. This could be in your own home or somewhere else where you feel safe where you can sit undisturbed.
Sit in a comfortable position in a chair that is sturdy and strong (you can also stand but I think sitting is better)
Use your imagination.
Close your eyes for a moment and in your imagination create an environment where you really feel safe and empowered. This could be somewhere you’ve been, somewhere you really want to go, or be a mixture of fantasy and reality. It happens in your imagination so anything is allowed. You are the boss.
If you are not good at visualization, no problem. Imagine it, pretend or get a feeling or an idea that you are in that environment. It doesn’t matter at all how you imagine it as long as it makes you feel comfortable, confident and safe.
This is a place where you are empowered. To make it easier, you can describe your imaginary environment in this way (this is a bit of self-hypnosis)
“I see now… .., I hear now… .., I feel now… ..” (do 3 or more repetitions)
For example with your eyes open or closed (closed is easier)
“I now see a beautiful beach… .., and I hear the sound of the sea… .., and I feel calm and relaxed… .., and I see the birds in the sky… .., and I hear it sound of the wind blowing through the trees… .., and I feel a nice draft on my skin… .. (and so on) ”
Use your imagination, pretend, get an idea or a feeling that you are there and absorb yourself to create a safe, pleasant calm feeling. Be playful, experiment and enjoy.
You may already feel safe, confident and comfortable in the environment where you are already in the physical world. Then you don’t have to create anything else in your imagination if you don’t want to. It’s fine this way anyway.
Create a neutral, transparent place of unconditional love
You create a safe place of unconditional love, meaning ALL of your younger personality parts are welcome to come and express themselves without judgment.
These personality parts are younger versions of yourself. They are your younger “Me’s” you could say.
In this safe place, ALL personality parts are recognized, respected, appreciated and accepted as they are without judgment. So this is a space of unconditional love. This is a space of self love without judgment.
Typical personality parts that appear during this type of hypnotic forgiveness process often have intense emotions that they need to express such as: Anger. Grief. Fear. Disgust. Shame. Anger. Hate.
So we can say that with regard to the particular past situation, you have different parts of yourself that have certain feelings and opinions about that particular situation.
So for example you have your:
and so on.
This is fine because this process of expression happens in your self-created neutral, transparent place of unconditional love where everything may be said and felt without judgment.
Even if several of your younger personality parts want to blame, judge or scold someone, these parts are also welcome to express themselves honestly without being judged too.
So it is very important that you create a neutral, transparent place of unconditional love before you begin so that everything can be easily and honestly said and felt.
When you have this safe place ready begin with step 2.
Step 2. Allow all personality parts to express themselves honestly and completely without judgment
* Note *
We can say that a personality part consists of two basic elements. They are:
Mental: Thoughts. Thought processes. Language. And so on
Emotions (anger, fear, sadness, disgust, shame, etc.)
Sensations in the body (heat, cooling, heavy, light, tingling, tension, and so on)
Think about the situation with which you want to forgive the person(s) (limit a process of forgiveness to one situation in your life or to one phase in your life to make it easier)
If there are several people associated with the particular situation that you want to forgive, make a list in your head (or on paper) and let them wait “outside” your safe space until they are called for by you.
Forgive yourself last
Pay attention! There is almost always a part of yourself that you also blame, criticize or judge that is connected to the particular situation. It is very important that you also forgive this part.
But forgive all the other people first because you’re going to treat this part a little bit differently from the rest. Forgive this part lastly because this part is the personality part that you want to reintegrate back into your heart, not the other people connected to the situation.
That is why it is important that ALL the emotions that are connected and directed to the other people are allowed to express themselves first. When you have allowed all of your younger personality parts to say what they want to the other people involved in the past situation, these parts of you are automatically reintegrated into your heart because you have already accepted them as they are without judging them.
This is self love, unconditional love for yourself.
When you have forgiven the other people involved you can then forgive yourself and let that part of yourself come “Home” by opening up your heart so that it can reintegrate again with the whole.
If you don’t forgive it, it will still remain outside and you will reject a part of yourself. By forgiving it unconditionally, reintegration can happen easily, naturally and fully automatically.
In this way the situation is rounded off neatly and nicely and is closed completely.
Start with the first person you are going to forgive
So when you are ready to start, decide who is first inline that you want to forgive and let them come in.
Imagine, pretend, visualize, get an idea or a feeling that the person is sitting or standing in front of you now. (If you want you can put a real chair across from you in your room and do this process with your eyes open. Then let the one in your imagination sit in that chair and talk to them with your eyes open or closed)
YOU have complete control over how this process goes
This is all happening in your imagination so you are in full control of what happens. This means that the person is not allowed to talk if you want to. You can make yourself very big and make him or her very small and put them in a plexiglas box because sometimes they try to escape and we can’t have that. You can also make them look ridiculous if you want.
If it’s someone you’re afraid of or they try to escape from this process, put him or her in handcuffs behind extra safety glass or behind bars. Create protectors or bouncers around you to protect you if you want to.
This happens in your imagination so you are the boss and you determine how it goes. This is your safe space and your healing process.
Allow your first younger personality part to appear
So the one that is connected to the particular situation is now standing in front of you in your imagination. This will probably evoke some strong emotions such as anger or sadness or disgust or something else.
These emotions are associated with the younger versions of yourself who have experienced the particular situation. These are your younger “Me’s” you could say.
You are a kind of “neutral me” (the here and now me) in this process that controls this process and so your younger personality parts are allowed to use your body and your mind to express themselves.
You are like a screen and your younger personality parts appear in or on you, so that they can be seen, heard and felt.
So your younger me can now speak with your mouth to express the feelings you feel in your body while you are doing this.
While doing this you may experience a regression that makes you feel like you are at that age again. So for example, if the particular situation happened when you were ten then you might feel like you’re ten again, or maybe not. It can be both and alternate during this process. This is normal.
How you experience this is the right way to experience it. It doesn’t matter how you experience it as long as all your personality parts are allowed to express their emotions honestly and uncensored. They do this by telling how they really feel with regard to the particular situation and the person concerned.
Suppose the first emotion inline is “anger” (anger often comes first to protect other vulnerable emotions) So this is your “younger me” being angry, your “angry me” we could say.
Allow the emotion of anger to arise in you so that it can say anything it wants to the one in front of you. So you feel the anger and your “younger me” says what he or she is angry about to the person. For example: “You hurt me”
Don’t beat around the bush or hold back, go for it completely!
This is really important! Don’t beat around the bush or hold back. Go for it completely and let the anger speak through you. This applies to ALL emotions during this process.
You can say this out loud or in your imagination (rather out loud because then you stimulate more neurons in your brain) It doesn’t matter as long as you let anger say whatever it wants without judgment, without censorship, without limitation.
When the first personality part is done, move on to the next one and so on until all the emotions have been expressed.
If there are still any personality parts that want to express themselves then use the same simple process until EVERYTHING is felt and said.
For example, maybe a part of your personality wants to blame, judge and criticize the person. That’s fine. Allow it. In fact, encourage it. Don’t leave a personality part out! Let them all express themselves honestly and clearly without judgment, without censorship and without limitations.
Pay attention! I cannot stress this enough and make it clear because it is so important!
Let them all express themselves honestly and clearly without judgment, without censorship, and without limitations!
The honest full expression of your TRUE feelings is probably the most important part of this healing process.
When you have done this, check that ALL personality parts have had their turn and have been able to fully express themselves. You can ask yourself this question:
“I am now going to forgive (person’s name) unconditionally, is there anything in me that wants to stop, disturb or block this process now?
Watch out for a “Yes” or a “No” answer. If you get a “yes” answer you can ask:
“Which part of me wants to stop this process and why?”
If you do this, the personality part will make itself heard. Maybe that personality part says:
“I just can’t accept the persons behaviour and let it go!”
Then you say to that personality part:
“Tell him / her that. Tell him / her why” (him / her is the one you want to forgive, point to him / her where they are imagined)
When that is done ask that personality part again:
“Now that you’ve said that can you forgive him/her now?”
If the personality part says no ask again:
Why not?” “Be honest, why not?”
Everything that the personality part says, say to it:
“Tell him / her that” (It is important that these thoughts and feelings are communicated to the one you want to forgive)
Keep it up until EVERYTHING has been said and therefore expressed.
You can also help yourself remember that forgiveness is NOT approving of what happened! Forgiveness is completely letting go of the past!
In this step of this process, everything may be said and felt without judgment, without censorship, without limitations. So that also means rejection is allowed, very much so!
If any part of you is feeling that way, now is the right time to express this so that complete forgiveness can happen. So it is very important that everything can be said and felt so that that part of you can heal and therefore also reintegrate into your heart.
So if necessary, ask again:
“I am now going to forgive (name of the person) unconditionally, is there anything in me that wants to stop, disturb or block this process now?”
Watch out for a “Yes” or a “No” answer. If there is a no answer or if there is only silence and peace, then that is a no answer. Then move on to the next step. Forgiveness.
Step 3: Forgive and free yourself from the captivity of the past
Only when ALL personality parts have been able to say and express their emotions honestly and completely you can forgive the person. I think this is the best way to do this (you can use your own words, it is all about your honest intention)
Look the person straight in the eye and speak from your heart and say something like:
“(Name of the person) I forgive you now fully, completely and totally for everything you have done to me in the past (in the past or in the particular situation)”
“I now forgive you unconditionally for everything that has happened between us (in that particular situation)”
“And because I’m doing this now I’m freeing myself from you and you from me too.”
“We are now detached from each other. We are now free from each other ”
“I now cut all connections between you and me once and for all so that you lose all power over me.”
“Because I choose for happiness, peace, well-being, harmony and freedom in this here and now and that is why I let go of the past now.”
“You are now completely forgiven. You have now lost all power over me because I have now empowered myself. You can go now”
Then let the person disappear and realize how good you feel. Usually you feel lighter with a lot of relief. Sometimes other emotions are released and that’s fine. Sometimes you have to cry, or laugh or something else. It’s all good.
Give yourself time to recover and enjoy the peace and relief.
When you are done start this process again and move on to the next person.
When you have forgiven all the people, you can let your “younger me” come in. Do the same process with your younger self. When you have expressed everything honestly to yourself and you are ready to forgive yourself, you can say this to yourself first:
“Younger me, we are all experts afterwards.”
“I hereby thank you for everything you have done for me.”
“Your mistakes have made me wiser and smarter.”
“Your pain, suffering and misery have made me a better version of myself.”
“You gave me important insights and I learned important lessons.”
“I appreciate and thank you now very much for your effort and energy.”
And then continue to forgive and after you have forgiven yourself unconditionally you can say:
“It is now time to come home. I open my heart now and I welcome you home”
Imagine this happening, pretend, get a feeling or an idea that it is happening and when you feel the reintegration is complete because your younger self is now reintegrated into your heart, relax and let a smile appear on your face and realize how good you feel.
Close the last chapter and determine the title of the next chapter of your life
To neatly complete this process, imagine a book or a film scene.
If it is a book, imagine the last page of that old chapter with a sentence that says:
“I now know for sure that this chapter of my life is completely closed because ……………”
Or imagine the last scene of a movie where this sentence appears and finish it off yourself:
“I now know for sure that this chapter of my life is completely closed because ……………”
Here are some examples:
“I am sure that this chapter of my life is now completely closed because I have forgiven everyone and I choose happiness in this here and now”
“I am sure that this chapter of my life is now completely closed because I have already gained the right insights so that I can now do it differently and better from now on”
“I am sure this chapter of my life is now completely closed because I have totally left that past behind me”
Then you can say:
“The new chapter of this book is called ……………”
“The new season of this series is called ……………”
Here are some examples:
“The new chapter of this book is called self love”
“The new season of this series is called freedom”
“The new chapter of this book is called happiness”
“The new season of this series is called peace”
When you’re done, end this hypnotic process of forgiveness and do something fun to celebrate
You may want to lie down or even go to sleep. That’s fine. Or maybe you want to go for a walk. Realize what you need at that moment and do it.
Be kind to yourself and thank yourself for daring and having done this process and continue to appreciate and enjoy all the positive benefits it brings such as inner peace, calmness and well-being.
Do you have a question about this subject?
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